Moving in together is a big step in your relationship. You’ll soon educate yourself on how to share a home together, but also how to nicely and without a doubt, share your true feelings, like when your sweet and loving significant other asks what you really think about that worn-out chair that belongs to them?
There is plenty of weird things that couples must sort through that can include family heirloom upholstery with grimy, old stains in places to add an accent but it’s actually real donut glaze stuck to a canvas–and we are confident that with the right plan of action, couples can combine very different things into a unified and gorgeous home you’re both proud of.
Establish the Rules
It’s vital to keep an honest and open communication throughout the entire process. When moving in together and taking that step to combine one another’s things, it opens the great opportunity to give an opinion on one another’s personal styles and tastes. Be punctual, and use plenty of “I” statements. But always remember rule number one: Please do not say “That’s ugly.”
What Stays and What Goes?
Two households becoming one. That means double the stuff in probably just about the same amount of space. Here’s how to sort through it all and pare down to what you need.
Choose Your Must-Haves
Both of you should voice your few non-negotiables, which these are the things that you’d take to the grave with you. Grandfather’s beloved leather chair. The antique vanity you spent a large amount of money on. Those sentimental things should stay.
Start on an Agreeable Note
Start the negotiations on a good note, deciding with each other on which things you both love and need. One partner should mention something from the other’s residence that they really love. You both will then realize you love the yellow sofa, so the yellow sofa can stay, and you’re that much closer to your dream home. Take turns and see how much you can sort through this way.
Decide on Duplicates
When it comes to the items you each owns, sofas or bed for example. You’ll have to negotiate which to keep and which goes on for another person’s use or if it’s ready for the trash. If you can both agree on which to keep, that’s great! If not, here’s how to decide:
- Condition of the Item: If it is beyond repair, throw it out.
- Size: Bigger might just be better, but remember which option fits best in the space you’re moving to.
- Quality: Is one of the options of a much higher quality than the other, and expected to last longer? No-brainer. Pick the better knives or the comfier chair.
Make Compromises
If you’ve gotten this far, you may have run into more than a few arguments about what to keep and what to get rid of between your things. Now’s the time to make some compromises.
- Tit for tat: You win, Your Spouse Wins! You both win without complaining.
- Change-up: Can you refurbish a chair to appeal to both of your tastes? Try painting a nightstand or resurface and refinish that old coffee table.
- Out with the old, in with the new: If you really can’t compromise, it may be worth throwing out both options (figuratively of course) and buying something new that you both shop for together.
